A few weeks ago, I went shopping for some new clothes.

Dress slacks, button down shirts, polos, etc.

Clothes to make me look nice… (jeez…best of luck clothes!)

Around and around and around I walked…

As I looked for shirts, it became apparant.

“Where in sam’s hell are all the smalls”, I muttered.

Then, as I looked for slacks with a size 30 waist, it became clear as mud.

“This is bull sh!$”, I muttered… this time slightly louder.

It seems that as I’ve gotten older… and continued to ride my bike… I’ve ridden my way right out of the normal clothing sizes and more into the ranges of “weird little guy with the little waist and big thighs”.

Size small shirts and pants with a 30 inch waist are nearly an extinct breed these days. Large, X-Large, XX-Large, even XXX-Large… Holy crap… Medium is now the new small… and small is now the new “good luck you skinny little girl”.

Needless to say, after much searching, digging, questioning myself, and then some more digging, I managed to find some clothes that fit me.

However… that wasn’t until after I had tried on a few pairs of slacks where one single lunge, squat, fart or quad flex would have split the pants right down both seams… Or a few shirts that looked like I was lost deep inside the depths of a Ralph Lauren wonderland playing dress-up with some larger, possibly even described as a “grown-up’s”, more normal sized clothing.

Folks, I know some of us share the same pains. I just wish there was more of us so that it would be more profitable to start a “Small and Still Fit” Store. The kind of store where a man who weighs less now than he did in High School can go to comfortably shop. Maybe we could even place it right next to those “Big and Tall” men’s stores… you know, diversify the shopping complex.

In the past, I’ve just resorted to shopping in the boy’s section. Don’t laugh. Or at least wait two minutes so that I can tell a story…

A few years back, Suzanne and I went shopping in Brugge, Belgium, for some clothes. We stopped at a very popular clothing store in Brugge’s city centre called H&M. Frustrated with the men’s clothing selection, and of course when nobody was looking, I snuck over to the boy’s section to see what they had…. and what would you know…

A gold mine…

So I bought a polo shirt. It was green with white stripes and it quickly became my most favorite shirt in my entire closet.

That was until Suzanne and I ran into a 6 year old boy wearing my exact shirt.

Subsequently, I never wore it again.

It was tragic.

Take care folks… and keep on wearing baggy clohting because frankly it’s too difficult to find clothing that properly fits your oddity of a body.

Categories: Daily Jibber Jabber.
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