Those were my jelly beans and you ate them, don’t try to escape from the truth now! And don’t blame Puma for my missing jelly beans, the cat is innocent!

Are you high? The DC area has some of the best riding of any metro area in the country. Didn’t you and your gay teammates venture out to the montgomery county md area while you were here????

Nice sentiment, but I think we need to let the authorities sort all of this out, Austin. If need be, I’m offering to be on the arbitration panel that will meet in approximately one year to speedily iron this all out. I am one of the foremost experts in Hot Tamale, Gummi Bear, and caramelly soda consumption.

Dearest Suz,

If you love me, you’ll let me eat your entire bag of Jelly Beans…

and your Hot Tamales and sugar-free popsicles too. I like all of those just as much. As for me, I will let you drink all of my Vitamin Water and Albertsons fizzy water.

Do we have a deal?

Dearest Buttswala,

No, I am not high and I beg to differ about the “DC metro area” riding. For starters, I will agree that they have one of the nicer bike path systems I’ve ever ridden on. It was enjoyable for quick spins around town, but got rather crowded and annoying for any type of longer haul. On bike paths, you have to stop pedaling every 15 seconds for a stop sign, sharp corner, pedestrian, dog, jogger, etc. If you get tired of the bike paths, then you are subjected to the traffic filled streets with no bike lanes. I will say though, the traffic was courteous and nobody honked at us which was very nice (and a big change from the Western US).

I was told to drive out of town to ride in the mountains. I’m sure the mountains are very nice (as most are), but if you have to get into a car to drive to them, than it doesn’t really count as “your towns riding”. If I get in the car back in Phoenix, and drive north, I will also be in some very nice riding. But it doesn’t count.

Also, I’m not sure where Montgomery County is? Maybe the mountains? Also, I have no idea if any of my teammate’s are gay. I suspect a few of them to be, but as of the time of writting this, nobody has told me. But as soon as one of them lets me now, I’ll send an e-mail your way.

Thanks,

Austin

Dearest Jesse,

If I ever find myself in need of an Candy Arbitration Panel… and I can pick it… you’re way up on my list. Sleep well tonight knowing that.

I’ll need refined sugar experts such as yourself to speedily come to my rescue.

Thanks.

Austin

Austin,

It is because I love you that I say No Deal!

You can have the fizzy water but the candy and the vitamin water are all mine!

-Your Lady

You just missed one of the nicer training spots in DC, Austin. If you would have looped to your left when you finished crossing the bridge in that picture (back around and under), you’d be on your way to Hains Point. A completely flat couple mile loop with next to no traffic (save the occasional tourist bus). Check it out next year. Training rides out there at noon on most days.

You know man, I did make it out to Hains Point on a ride. Nice, quiet, and no traffic, just how I like my rides.

By the way, the sweetest bit of riding all week in DC was the local Wednesday night crit. You guys have an awesome loop out there. 5 of us headed out there for it and had a truly great time. For sure a nice bit of training.

Checked out your site. Very nice pics of the CSC Invitational.

Take care.

I live in the DC area and missed out on the CSC race because I was on travel. I was in New York on Friday for the New York Book Expo pimping “Cycling’s Greatest Misadventures” pretty hard. The distributor had a book signing, and since you weren’t available, they had to make do with me, an old fat guy. I signed 120 books in about 90 minutes, and everyone who took a book asked “Are You Austin King?” or “Will Austin King be here to sign books too?” They also asked where the restroom was. After a while I started telling people (mostly cute girls) that I was in fact Austin King, famous bike racer. When they said that I didn’t look very fit and that the greying hair was a bit of a shock, I told them that life on the road is very hard, and that it ages one very quickly. They seemed to buy it.

The bikepath near Reagan airport is good for commuting to work, but that is about it. On a nice day it is swamped, and you really do take your life in your hands if you ride on it during the weekend. There is some great riding both North (Rock Creek/MacArthur loops) and South (Mason Neck, Clifton) of the city. Hains Point is good fun.

Hey Greg,

I can explain. There is a large group of roving people that I pay (and by pay I mean give 1 can of coffee to) to walk around and pretend like they want to see or meet me. This type of marketing creates a “buzz” or interest in seeing and meeting Austin King. Then others, such as yourself and others around you, begin to think that Austin King may actually be someone popular and worth meeting. Therefore creating even more buzz. This is similar to paying one very high name celebrity to endorse your product, but instead I am paying the masses to pretend they are my interested in… well, me.

Jackpot and my self marketing plan is a complete success.

Actually to fill you in a bit more, this website is just one big fake “store front” run by a creative writter and marketing expert. The posts are fake and so too are all the comments. You are in fact, the first “real person” to ever comment on my site, so Thank you! I’m actually not sure why I’m giving away my secrets right now, so promise not to tell anyone and I’ll send a can of coffee your way.

By the way, which story is yours?

Take care Greg,

Austin

I’ll hold you to that can of coffee in order to keep my trap shut.

I wrote two stories — “The Day I Beat Miguel Indurain” and “Genius/Not Genius.” Remarkably average stuff. I hope that you saw the reveiw for the book in Velonews — they liked it and they liked your story.

Are you doing the “Crystal City Classic” on June 16? I’m local to DC (just down the bikepath in Alexandria), and it would be an honor to turn a lap or two with you at Hains Point (or some other location) on Friday.