In lieu of recent confessions (1) (2) (3) (4) in the cycling world, I too feel that it is time to step up to the plate and clear my conscience of a self-prevoked sin dragging me down closer and closer to the depths of a really, really, ridiculously super hot, and fiery Hell.

Ok folks, here it goes…

Last Wednesday, I ate an entire bag of Jelly Beans all by myself.

I didn’t even share with Suzanne. Well… only because she had her own bag of candy.

At the time it felt great, but afterwards it felt awful. I eat candy because I’m sad, and I’m sad because I eat candy.

I feel better now that I got that off my chest.

Actually folks, while I got you here, if you don’t mind I have another one to confess. This one’s a bit better… You see, at training camp last February we were all in the team van, and my new teammate Cody Stevenson asked me for my phone number to put into his new American cell phone.

I replied, “867-5309″….

As in Jenny’s phone number from the 1982 Tommy Tutone hit song, “867-5309/Jenny”.

Yesterday (May 26th), I flew into Newark, New Jersey, and he asked me why I haven’t been returning his text messages or phone calls…

It was at that moment I had to come clean and fill him in on my little “joke”. He wasn’t familiar with the song or the phone number. He was however familiar with the domestic text message and phone call rates that he’d been wasting.

At the time the joke felt great, but afterwards it felt really awful. I felt particularly awful about taking advantage of a kind and friendly Australian whose feet had only been planted on American soil for all of 24 hours.

Thanks for reading, I feel better now.

Categories: Daily Jibber Jabber.
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Hi folks,

Well, ever since our San Diego training camp way back in February, we’ve been followed around by a man with a video camera. If you’ve been at any of the races, you’ve probably seen him. His name is Myles Berman and he’s the guy behind the Jittery Joe’s Pro Cycling Team Documentary that Versus has picked up to air. From February to late April, Myles was there filming away hours and hours of footage. He was there filming at the races, the team meetings, the hotel rooms, the van rides, breakfast, lunch and dinner, interviews, and random bits of footage as we were ourselves and had forgotten the little red light was on and the camera was filming. It should be a great documentary that not only shows the competition side of professional cycling but also the human side.

Here’s the press release:

Versus to air Jittery Joe’s Pro Cycling Team Documentary

Athens, GA—One Of A Kind Films has inked a deal with Versus Television (formally Outdoor Life Network) to air a one-hour TV documentary following the Jittery Joe’s Professional Cycling Team from their training camp in San Diego through the Tour of Georgia and the Athens Twilight Criterium. The documentary will focus on the ups and downs of a small professional cycling team traveling on the North American race circuit and is hosted by race announcer Dave Towle.

“When I started this project I had no idea how amazing it would be”, said Myles Berman from One Of A Kind Productions, “These guys love their job and it really shows.”

“This is a huge deal for our team and for our riders,” said Micah Rice, General Manager of the Jittery Joe’s Team, “we are very excited to be a part of such an exciting and professionally done project like this.”

The TV program is scheduled to air on Versus Television (formally Outdoor Life Network) on Sunday, June 10th at 3:30pm EST. Please check your local listings for times.

Jittery Joe’s Coffee Roasting Company is based in Athens, Georgia and has been selling superior quality small batch roasted coffee for over twelve years. Jittery Joe’s is now opening up new franchise coffee shops around the nation. Jittery Joe’s Morning Ride Cycling Coffee is an organic, shade grown Colombian coffee and all proceeds go straight to the Jittery Joe’s Cycling Team. The coffee is sold in over 700 bike shops nationwide. For more information, please check out our website at www.thebeanteam.com.

Categories: Daily Jibber Jabber.
6 Comments »

Hi folks,

I received a more formal press release for the kick-off of Cycling’s Greatest Misadventures. It’s posted below… Check it out.

Over the Bars!

Cycling’s Most Compelling Misadventures

Erich Schweikher’s first real kiss was on a bike. Paul Diamond’s first love was riding his bike. Both are writers and together they’ve collaborated to create Cycling’s Greatest Misadventures, a book that presents twenty-seven of the most intriguing, terrifying, bizarre and comical stories from cycling fanatics worldwide.

Schweikher and Diamond spent a year gathering these true stories from bicycle aficionados, journalists, magazine editors, professional racers, and everyday cyclists. these riders share the episodes when they’ve found themselves in over their heads facing danger and the unexpected.

The writing is spartan and factual in these collected stories which take the reader on a gripping ride through the uncharted terrain of freak accidents, animal attacks, sabotage, idiotic decisions, eerie events, and other law-dropping, adrenaline-pumping calamities. Each story brings to life the strange possibilities that await cyclists once they step on the pedals of a bike.

Here is a taste of the curious but true stories contained within:

• In Australia, a former pro cyclist decides to spread tacks on women’s race course in an attempt to get a date.

• In Pennsylvania, an enthusiastic computer programmer crashes a stationary bike during his first spin class.

• Also in Pennsylvania, a man accidentally cycles deep into a prison yard and then has to make an escape.

• In 1897, twenty African-American’s complete the first group Transamerican ride on iron bikes with wood rims, and they all ride armed with rifles.

• In Washington DC, a woman is attacked by a large rat that jumps on her bike and slaps her repeatedly with its tail.

• In North Carolina, a man is “attacked” and knocked from his bike by a flying dead dog.

Some of these stories might make your cringe or laugh; most will make you shake your head with disbelief.

Schweikher and Diamond’s selection often goes beyond thrills and spills, deeply exploring the culture and psychology of cyclists. There’s something remarkably moving about cyclists reflecting on and writing about how they got themselves into deep in trouble. In the end the stories stay with you, and you find yourself repeating them to friends.

Cycling’s Greatest Misadventures
Edited by Erich Schweikher and Paul Diamond

List: $16.95
Paperback: 256 pages 6” x 9” (inches)
Publisher: Casagrande Press (June 15, 2007)
ISBN: 0-9769516-2-2
Illustrations: 42 b/w photos including a bike crash photo gallery

Available online at book stores and bike shops nationwide.

For more information visit http://www.thebikebook.com

Categories: Daily Jibber Jabber.
5 Comments »

Some people call me the space cowboy, yeah…

-Steve Miller Band, “The Joker”

Well if that’s how it’s going down Mr. Steve Miller, than I want you all to call me Mr. Author Man.

Cause I write of the pompitous of AKingsLife.

Now allow me to explain my ramblings oh faithful reader… Last September I saw a press release on Cyclingnews.com regarding the Casagrande Press looking for writers to contribute pieces for their new upcoming book titled Cycling’s Greatest Misadventures. Well, I contacted them, and sent off a huge batch of pieces that I’d written in the past and a few that I’d just finished up that hadn’t seen the daylight yet. They liked one that I wrote a few years back. We polished it up a bit… fast forward several months and Wham!

It’s been printed!

Yesterday I received a few copies in the mail and I can honestly say that it’s a very entertaining book! It’s filled with 27 short stories of true misadventures on the bike. As for a sneak peak of my piece… it has to do with a Belgian man’s hind-end screeching it’s way across my forehead in the Kleedkamers of Belgium. (DISCLAIMER: it wasn’t by choice that this happened). For the complete story by the book. For the even more complete story, buy me a beer.

Get it here at Amazon.com.

Or get it at Barnes and Noble.

Or don’t get it at all… That’s cool too. You’ll just never know as to how in the world another man’s butt could be capable off touching itself to one’s forehead.

I didn’t know how it could be able to either… and then it happened.

Always stay on higher ground folks.

Always.

Categories: Daily Jibber Jabber.
2 Comments »

Last weekend I went to the Notre Dame Cycling Team’s end of the year party. For those that don’t know, Notre Dame High School has a fully recognized cycling team. As in… these guys all earned varsity letter’s for their outstanding participation with the team. As in… buy the jacket and sew the letter’s on and get twice as many girls as you would have without the letter’s… Do high school’s still work like this? Back in the 20th century, when I was a kid, they did.

Apparently, the guys on the team were able to do Phoenix’s Bartlett Lake ride after only a few months on the bike. I believe it took me a few years to be strong enough to do that ride… Jeez… Sometimes it still gives me troubles.

I didn’t quite realize the magnitude of the team until Suzanne and I were invited to their party last weekend and saw the letter’s being handed out to each of the rider’s. At that point, I had wished that my high school had had something like this and that I wouldn’t have had to resort to my old routine of creeping out the girls and then running home (literally) to be with my bike.

Instead I could have creeped out the girls and then ran, salivating from the mouth, to some dark and musky broom closet to be with my bike. It would have helped me micro-manage my time and increase levels of productivity which in turn quite possibly could have helped me to creep out even more girls. A true benefit!

“Have you seen my chamois”, Austin King muttered beneath his breath as he staggered his way down the student filled hallway.

Alas folks, don’t spend your time worrying much about me. I have happened to find a nice young lady who (as of two and a half years) I don’t creep out. At least not that she’s ever told me…

Now head on over to the Notre Dame Cycling Team’s web site and see what’s going on.

Have a good day.

Categories: Daily Jibber Jabber.
7 Comments »

Hi folks.

Well, it’s been a week since we last talked… and since I began my classes to get a real estate license.

So far, so good. I’m having a great time and find myself enjoying the classes quite a bit. Most people seem to be quite surprised when I tell them that I’m “having fun” with the courses… I get an odd look and a “what about all the math”? Well, the math doesn’t bother me. That is as long as I get some snacks…

You see… as a cyclist, I find myself eating more than the average Joe. Actually much more. And like most other cyclists… I get cranky when I get hungry… Yeah, it’s true, I know that’s hard to believe. Austin? Cranky? Yeah, I can admit it. Or you can ask Suzanne, she’ll let you know.

So, for these 4 hour classes I have to bring a pocket full of granola bars just to keep me from getting too hungry because when I get hungry I get cranky and then I more or less just shut down. The odd thing is… some people in this class eat a ton more food than I do. The first class I watched a guy eat a full foot long Subway sandwich. Some other guy walked in with a plastic grocery bag. He sat down next to me and throughout the class kept pulling food out of it…

Like Doritos…

and lightly salted almonds…

and some Skittles…

and beef jerky…

and a Coca Cola…

and a turkey sandwich…

It was insane. Kind of like a magic trick where the magician has a small suitcase and starts pulling objects out of it and they keep getting bigger and bigger…

deck of cards…

16 lb. bowling ball…

folding lawn chair…

red umbrella…

and finally… an electric golf cart.

So, I guess it’s good to know that there are other people out there that need a constant supply of food and drink to properly function in the manner that human beings were designed to. It’s nice to know I’m not alone.

On the flip side… what’s the deal with people who are instructed to turn off their cell phones, but don’t? You know, like in a public place, library, classroom, etc. Now, I do understand when somebody brain farts and forgets to turn their ringer off. Actually, one time my brain farted really really hard… Like so hard I almost lost the rest of my hair. But anyways, the problem I have is when you’re instructed to turn off your cell phone and then someone’s goes off… at that moment the instructor politely says, “please don’t forget to turn off all cell phones”…

So the real kicker comes when about 20 minutes later…

RING-RING-RING!

Oh well, what are you going to do? You just can’t win ‘em all…

I’m going to go eat now.

Take care.

Categories: Daily Jibber Jabber.
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