In recent years I haven’t been a huge Halloween fan.

When I was younger I used to love it… Free candy. Need I say more? I didn’t think so.

But the lure of free candy has since worn off and left me rather uninterested in dressing up in any shape way or form. Most years, I forget Halloween’s coming or don’t really care that it’s coming, until somebody calls me at the last minute to invite me to a costume party.

“Oh crap… I don’t have anything to wear”, tends to be the first thought that dances through my head.

My advice is to stay true to this initial thought and bag the night right then and there before it gets worse.

Worse? What do you mean by worse?

This is what happens when you half-ass a Halloween costume and slap it together at the last minute…

Oh, Heavens to Betsy… Yes, I just went there… 2004… After that night, a self-imposed ban would prevent me from ever dressing up for Halloween again. However, I do suggest that everbody wear a skinsuit to a popular bar at least once in their lifetime.

But wait… it gets better. Yes, better. You see, I wasn’t alone. There were other idiots with me and there’s a good chance I wasn’t the biggest idiot of them all… Why don’t you scroll down a bit? Come on, start scrolling, it’s worth it…

Sorry fellas… but this one was just too good to leave buried in a file deep within my computer.

Well, I’m not that proud to say I was the “least biggest idiot of the idiots”, but in this case I really was. I at least had a beard, glasses, cowboy hat and boots to help conceal my identity because it gets even better…

After a couple 12 ounce cans of courage, we wore these outfits out to Maloney’s… Yes, Maloney’s. Right down on Tucson’s 4th Avenue at the old jam packed, meat market, coolest of the cool, frat guy and sorority girl hangout. Jeez… Poor old Derek didn’t even have a semi-sweet long sleeved skinsuit to wear. Corey and I could at least claim to be some sort of a retarded Captain America. But poor Derek… left all alone in his lycra… he was just a cyclist that night.

That’s just a damn shame if you ask me.

So everybody, please learn from Derek, Corey and I and practice safe Halloween skills tonight. If you don’t already have an acceptable costume, SCRAP THE NIGHT NOW TO AVOID THE POTENTIAL EMBARRASSMENT!

You never know, your buddy just might end up with some incriminating photos to post on his website…

Stranger things have happened.

Take care.

Categories: Daily Jibber Jabber.