This post has very little to do with bikes, lycra and the world of cycling. Honestly, sometimes there’s far more important things in life than my two-wheeled, carbon fiber friend. There comes a time where credit must be given where credit is due and in this situation, it surely is.

Last week, many of you read about Pluto losing his (or her….it’s your call) job as the ninth member of the Milky Way. To make matters worse, Pluto didn’t just lose his job but was instead offered a demotion to simply a “dwarf”. After 76 wonderful years of dedicated service to his galaxy, it must be difficult to except this kind of change in the workplace and now be known by a much less flattering title. One minute you’re famous and being mentioned in every classroom and kids book ever published and the next minute your new job title is quite harshly stated as: “dwarf”. Wouldn’t it be little planet anyway? To me, this is bad news and just another sign that corporate downsizing has gone beyond the business world and has now reached celestial levels. I mean, it’s not good when the economy is so questionable that even the solar system is effected and forced to downsize. What’s next, Heaven can’t afford to keep running the pearly white gates and Hell cools down because heating costs get too expensive?

Officials cited many reasons for Pluto’s “down grading”, one of which was the Milky Way’s profits falling short of it’s 1st quarter projections. Another strong reason was the fact that he’s lost a bit of his gravitational pull and often times doesn’t even clear the neighborhood around his own orbit and overlaps with Neptune’s orbit. When contacted by akingslife.com, Neptune refused to comment on the situation.

Pluto or Melanoma? You be the judge….

Another planet in the Milky Way, speaking on the condition of anonymity, told akingslife.com “What a bummer this is, I mean, how can you blame Pluto? He’s way out there on the end where it’s cold and lonely. Not to mention how dark it must be. You can’t blame him for losing some of his gravitational pull. 76 freaking years in the industry…..He poured his heart, soul and heterogeneous surface into his work. I challenge any of the IAU board to come out here and do our job. It aint easy….Dang it.”

Another unfortunate casuallty of the downsizing was Pluto’s moons Charon, Nix and Hyrda. While the large and more diverse moon Charon, has expressed interest in pursuing Black Holes, it’s unsure at the moment what the others will do next. With other celestial bodies gravitating to newer and younger masses in the workplace, it’s unclear if any offers will be available to Pluto’s two smaller sized moons. As of yesterday, their resumes were available on Monster.com but didn’t seem to have much interest. It seems like after 76 years, nobody’s interested in having a moon follow them around.

On a personal note, I would like to thank Pluto for his dedicated service and for the wonderful horoscope’s he’s given me for the past 25 years. I knew him as the planet way out there with the same name as Mickey Mouse’s dog but with a heart of pure silicate rock. Hang in there Pluto, you’re gone……….but not forgotten.

It felt good to not talk about the bike…….

Take care.

Categories: Daily Jibber Jabber.
7 Comments »