Before we begin, lets get one thing straight. I don’t mind riding my bike in the rain. Most of the time I oddly enjoy it. After all, I did spend the greater part of the last 5 years pedaling away in one big Belgian rainstorm. What I don’t like about the rain is riding my bike in it here in Phoenix. Allow me to explain….

Phoenix has traffic. Lots of it. I estimate it to be somewhere between 7 and 8 billion cars and that doesn’t even include SUV’s……a breed reproducing at a faster rate than even rabbits are rumored to be capable of. Now, training on a good day in Phoenix involves sharing the road with cars. Anybody who’s ever trained here knows that. I don’t mind this because I really have no choice but to try and peacefully co-exist with my much larger 4-wheeled friends. Now, in contrary and for the record, I hate garbage trucks, city buses and cement trucks. Write that down. I believe these vehicles have some sort of predisposed manufacturers programming that forces the steering to pull towards the white line of my bike lane. That white line also happens to be my comfort line…..Now that we’ve discussed Phoenix’s heavy flow of traffic we can now get into what that flow of traffic is like in the rain.

One word: brothel

Phoenicians don’t often see rain to start with so when they do they’re not quite sure of how to deal with it when behind the wheel of an automobile. Combine this with the already existing danger of cycling and training on public streets and it makes for one nerve racking day of training. A nerve racking day of training…….well, kind of like today.

When I left at 6:00 am to go and train the sky was clear with only a few clouds to the south. Damn….it would be a hot one as I headed out in an attempt to get 5 hours in before the sun punched my ticket.

As I pedaled north up towards Cave Creek and Carefree I noticed a few clouds heading towards the sun. When this sometimes happens on a hot desert day I tend to get excited because it allows me to not bake and possibly train longer. I encourage and cheer the cloud on just as you would a horse at the track……”Ah, yeah thats the stuff, there you go Mr. Cloud, come on now, you can do it, move left, now hit out, go, go, damnit go you stupid cloud….”

On this particular day he went, and so did a bunch of his friends. Before I knew it the clouds had invited along their friend Mr. Rain and his two step sons Lightning and Thunder, and they were both creeping up behind me. Now, in most cases this isn’t a problem. But you see, in Phoenix when it rains its a thunderstorm and since the streets weren’t build with consideration to handling large amounts of rain, they always flood. So, when I turned around and decided to head back into town I was confronted by a wall of black clouds illuminated with lightening and serenaded by the rumbles of thunder. It was going to be a wet one.

“Son of a b$%@&”, I thought.

Why did I think this…….well….. THUNDERSTORM + PHOENIX x BICYCLE = SON OF A B$%@& ………that’s why.

As I hit the outskirts of town, the rain decided to do it’s thing. Before long I found myself riding tempo on the sidewalk because the busy streets were all flooded. A few miles later I found myself riding in the middle of the flooded street, cautiously looking back for cars, because the sidewalk was now so flooded I couldn’t actually see if there was a sidewalk there. In the middle of this freakish downpour, I stopped for a light and I wondered what all the motorists were thinking when they saw me? Crazy bastard? Idiot? Glad I’m not him? Lightning struck a few blocks over and the light turned green……Eureka! No more thinking time, it’s tempo time.

After about 30 minutes of riding tempo in 1 foot deep water I threw in the towel. It made no sense to fight the tides anymore so I just relaxed cast my sail and drifted home. It wasn’t humanly possible to get any more wet. In the remaining 30 minute ride home I saw many cars stuck in the flood waters of the local washes. I saw two cars stuck in the same wash…..so I decided to hit it with some speed. I fishtailed, slowed down, wobbled and barely made it through the shin deep water. Good thing I made it, the motorists would have enjoyed watching me take a digger in that one…..

I finally made it home and was happy to climb off my mess of a bike. In all my years of riding, today may have been one of the worst rain storms I’ve ever ridden through. The only weather I can think of that was worse was the German Meinfranken Tour I did in 2001. The commassare neutralized the race amidst a ferocious and painful hail storm. I’ve never heard European racers scream so loud and willingly dive off the road and head for cover in the middle of a race. Meanwhile, with the field in shambles and hidding in the bushes, all six of the Rabobank Espoirs hit the front and drove it…….crazy bastards.

Alright, I’ve got to go tend to my bike before it rusts over.

Cheers.

Categories: Daily Jibber Jabber.
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Well, well, where to start? Its 7:30 Monday morning and I find myself already on a flight back home to Phoenix after this past weekend’s Downers Grove National Criterium Championships. First of, as I sit on this flight, I find myself wondering who in the world ever buys anything from the airlines Sky Mall magazine? Its 195 pages filled with pure crap. Example: A solar powered self cooling baseball cap. Who needs one of those anyways? Alright, back to the issue at hand. I’ve written a little diddy about last night’s race in Downers Grove. Since I haven’t really raced much in the States, this was my first go around at this particular race. It really wasn’t as mind numbing as I had suspected a 100 kilometers of riding lap after lap of a figure eight would be. Not nearly as boring as some of the SuperWeek stages I did back in the late 1900’s and again in 2002. Contrary to first glance, the Downer’s Grove course is actually a fairly challenging loop. While there is no tough climb or super tight corners, the entire course is up and down and includes 8 corners per lap that all add up to make a fairly difficult race. Factor in the long 100K distance and it makes for a tough day at the old criterium office.

Historically, a break never really materializes and the race ends in a bunch kick. This year would be no different. Basically, an attack of riders would go, gain a few hundred meter advantage and then be brought back a handful of corners later. Then some guy in blue would counter attack, a green guy would go with him, so would a red guy and they’d be brought back a few corners later only to be counter attacked by an orange guy, a red, white and blue guy and another green guy. With most of the strength in the bunch uninterested in riding in a breakaway, it would come down to a sprint and make for a rather uneventful race.

In fact, I can’t really think of a super exciting part of the race except for when Mike Creed touched my butt and the other time when I saw 2 Rite Aid riders crash together in the same corner. There was one point in the race when a dangerous break did materialize and Jittery Joe’s missed out on it so Trent Wilson, Neil Shirley and I hit the front, swapped off at a good clip and brought it back. I, in the process, nearly went blind from the effort. It took a few laps to get over that one….. So, to make a long story short, Hilton Clarke took out another Illinois criterium win and Brad Huff ran second claiming the US National Champ jersey. As for Jittery Joe’s, Jeff Hopkins was running 4th going into the last corner only to get t-boned by another rider in the typical brothel of a finish that Downers in known for. Hoppy got back on top of his gear and still ran 6th, which was a nice ride for him.

On a side note and to my error, I didn’t include Brad Huff in my website’s Downers Grove Poll. The first person to e-mail me and point out my mistake was in fact my dad who also said he’d bet the farm on Huff. In order, to not hear the “I told you so” comment for the next month and a half to a year, I figured I’d mention that and give credit where credit is due.

That’s pretty much all for now. The next round of US National Championship events begins with the time trial on Friday, September 1st.

Take care.

Categories: Daily Jibber Jabber.
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