Austin King’s Chronicles From Across the Pond

Ah yes, the fun times we have. You see, when all you do is focus on your cycling, there’s plenty of free time to fill. DVD‘s, music, reading, naps and the all mighty Flex-Off. Yeah, you’re damn right there’s a Flex-Off. It may not be your cup of tea but it’s our kind of thing. A sort of Alpha Male, hierarchy of the house event. Similar to dogs peeing on things, but no urine is needed during Flex-Off. Normally occurring in the pre bedtime hours, there’s only one rule to Flex-Off: shirtless cyclists only. Ricky Chisel Chest and Johnny Monster Muscles need not apply. No one cares about you in your tight t-shirt with muscles oozing out the sleeves. In fact, excessive muscles are frowned upon at Flex-Off. The Rib Check and the ability to see one’s own heart beating is king. Now is the time for the scrawny pale man to thrive in his own natural surroundings. Got no muscle? Then flex the bone, the skin or whatever connects your elbows to your shoulder. At Flex-Off no man will feel inadequate by his blinding paleness or pre-pubescent bird chest. Flex-Off is payback for the lanky man afraid to swim shirtless at the public pool and too afraid to go shirtless in the Bally’s locker room. Flex-Off can occur anywhere cyclists and mirror come together in one glorious harmonic bond. So go ahead, spread the word, secretly gather, and remember: at Flex-Off, the man under a buck-50 is special while the man under a buck-35 is the almighty.

Categories: Austin King's Chronicles From Across The Pond.