Mr. King,

Thank you for you letter regarding the status of Belgium’s weather. Your concern is genuinely noteworthy but frankly Mr. King, this topic is none of your business. Personal? You think this is personal? Personal is just the tip of the ice burg. I loved him. He was everything to me. The year was 264 A.D. and Steven Van Den Guttenberg and I were very much in love. And then it happened. In the blink of an eye my world came crashing down. I walked in on Steven and my sister Lisa, there together, holding one another and clearly enjoying each other‘s company. He was cheating on me all this time. I was embarrassed, I felt like a fool. And all Steven could do was give me some sort of flip answer about “it’s not you it’s me”. I was devastated. But that devastation soon turned to bitterness and then to anger. You see, Steven was Belgian and I’m Mother Nature. It made sense. I had to do it. So I cursed Steven with the poorest weather known to man. And when it was all over, I had the last laugh. That’s right, I had the last laugh.

But anyways, Austin, that was then and this is now, I‘m way over him. I appreciate your concern for the kind residents of Belgium and I’ll see what I can do in terms of a bit of sunshine in the weeks to come. Oh, and by the way, I saw you on the television today and you looked very handsome. Maybe next time I’m doing business in Brugge, we could maybe get together, you know for a beer or something? I mean, if that’s ok with you. But hey, I got to run, it’s almost hurricane season and things are starting to get a bit busy for me. Instant Message me sometime if you want: Mother_Nature@hotmail.com.

Keep in touch,

Mother Nature

Categories: Austin King's Chronicles From Across The Pond.